Stupid Emails From The Authors...
Pooper, Where Are You?
8:17pm 9-24-01
Hey fatboy, asshole, you killed my brother. . .
Where the hell are you????
A.
1:59am 9-25-01
Yes, your brother had to die... but is it possible to contract the flu over the interent? Oh... well I'm just wondering cause you fuckin gave it to me asshole. I just got done losing dinner... and now I must...
goodnight.
POoPer
Worms, Bugs, and Nyquil
5:36pm 9-22-01
Aww hell Pooper, I can't think straight anymore. I wish I could turn off my brain and just sit in a state of clear, unadulterated, silence for at least an hour.
But. . .HELL NO. . .NOT TODAY. . .THE WORMS ARE IN MY BRAIN AND THEY WANT OUT. . .
. . .And that is how I am feeling right now, dude!! I can't seem to concentrate on anything at all for more that a few seconds and it is starting to suck. Back in the day I used to Ingest various types and quantities of illicit substances to achieve the same effect, but now, for some reason, I seem to be on the verge of one massive fucking battle with a virus of some sort. I know that I'm not supposed to feel like this, so I must be getting sick. I thought by staying up as late as I possibly could last night, then sleeping all day today and eating like a pig, I'd start to feel better. Well, my plan didn't work out that way. I did stay up pretty late (like 4 or so), but I woke up at 7:15 and didn't fall back 'till like 10 or so, then I was up again at 11. I am in bad shape here Brother!!! I was planning on going out and doing it up right tonight, in the spirit of the Great Tatanka and all, but I don't think I'm up to it. I would want to risk the shame that would come if I failed to meet his expectations. . .
And I see I am rambling here. Basically what I am trying to say is that I don't feel very well, and if I don't get any better soon, I wont be leaving so that means you will most likely be flooded with all kinds of gibberish this evening, at least until the NyQuil kicks in!!!
A.
7:44pm 9-22-01
Two hours later and I am still here, so I guess that means I'll be dropping a note every so often, for as long as I am awake. K is supposed to call me at like ten thirty, and if I'm able, I'm gettin' the hell outta' here. But, I don't think there is much hope in that. I can barely hold my head up without getting dizzy, and I have a bad case of the jitters/shakes/twitches, whatever the fuck you wanna' call them. I see myself hugging the cold, damp, porcelain sometime in the near future, and rest assured, you'll be the first to know. Hell, maybe I'll even take a picture of it and you can try to guess what I have been eating. Sound good to you??
A.
3:17pm 9-23-01
Dear Lord, I know that I am not your most humble servant, or even a remotely regular worshiper, but if you promise to make this Nyquil hangover go away, I promise to be a good Hulk-A-Maniac and say my prayers, eat my vegetables, and take my vitamins without the usual fits of rage and need for restraint.
Boy O' Boy dude, I think I may actually be on my way out this time. Or it sure feels that way anyway. I feel like I've been up all night drinking rum with beers on the side, and having recently returned from the bathroom after another round of the vomit battle, I can tell by the watery eyes and the extreme concentration it is taking to keep my hands moving on the keyboard, that it is time to go back to bed. The Vikings just blew it anyway, so what the fuck is left for me to do today but sleep, and hopefully my next potential conquest/victim will be stopping by later for a little "Guided Recuperation!!" If ya' know what I mean. At least I hope you do. Damn man, you better know what I'm talkin' aboot here!!
A.